lots of pictures from boston

upon arriving in Dalton, Jeff and i listened to about 20 minutes of non stop Bitches Ain't Shit by Ben Folds.


i think ill post about boston sometime.

things get crazy like the OJ trial.

writing with no thought

"And when they're knocking on your heart's door, choose the one who Loves you more." - Copeland

tomorrow morning at 2 AM i leave with Jeff for Boston. it will be fun and exciting and interesting i think.

i think i am going to bring my journal and maybe if i have some time, randomly write in it.


you see, its hard for me to write freely sometimes because i know what comes out: a good bit of darkness and hidden stuff that id rather just keep locked up. but someone tells me it would be good to do this, so i shall, atleast right now at 9:06 pm im thinking id like to. who knows what the hell ill do tomorrow.

i suppose things work out for the best.

sometimes i think i dont have the gumption for success, but im not looking at the facts when i think like that.

i hear its cold in Boston..... my mental picture of Boston life: The Boondock Saints.

my left shoulder hurts because this is one of the first nights i tried to sleep on my back.

i was encouraged the other night at Jason's Haunted Village when David told me sometimes he goes out and lays down in the grass at night. im jealous of that action.

Hatebreed's album Perseverance is really good. ive been listening to it recently, and im getting pretty pumped up. thats what hardcore/metal music does to me, it pumps me up like Arnold.

right now is one of those times when i layed down to bed but nothing happened. 30 or 45 minutes later my mind is still reeling with ideas and conversations and arguements and songs and quotes and impersonations and movies and skits and people. then im thankful i have this computer and this internet connection and these fingers and a place to write down words on a white screen so that i can release and begin to quit feeling and thinking, if only for 8 hours.

i really enjoy my long blogs because i tend to think that the path of my mind really comes out. it kind of bounces around from topic to topic and sometimes things can be loosely connected, or if you are really into psychology, i suppose you could make quite a little proposal as to what im really dealing with or thinking or feeling. i like psychologists. they remind me of old people. im not really sure why, but i feel the most comfortable around old people. even if they are the bitchy mean kind of old people... i still love them. same way with psychologists. for some reason they make me feel really good inside. dont know why, its just the way it is. its certainly not cause they know the wonderful world of Whole Milk or Fried Eggs or really sweet wardrobes. maybe its because they seem to be able to venture into places in my mind where it seems sometimes i cant go, or maybe i do go but only find bits and pieces of a puzzle and the psychologists are like the Big Puzzle Solvers that put everything back into place- back into functioning place.

back into warm and happy.

back into sleepability.

back into health.

i think thats all right now.

White Enchantress

Metal Heart, you're not hiding.


"...remember that Christ's patience is salvation." 2 Peter


glory


in Morrowind i finally was able to buy a scroll of dissapearing, or whatever it was called, and run up past the Hlaalu Guard and grab that sweet Enchanted Sword. he didn't even know what was coming!

next wednesday i fly to Boston with Jeff Green to pack up their remaining stuff and drive it down in a Penske truck. ive never been to Boston, but i think i wont want to come back home once im there.

i miss not having my copy of The Great Divorce with me.

i let Jason and Heidi borrow it before they left for Hawaii.

at Asbury, everytime i had to poop, id walk to Tate & Fowler's room and borrow their copy and always read a particular passage where the Traveler speaks with George MacDonald's Ghost.

i would quote it to my fellow pooping Dog's in the adjacent stalls. there was some mad fellowship and theology going on in that bathroom. wow i miss those days.

ive tried to get into Searching For God Knows What, but after giving it about an hour or so i cant seem to really enjoy it much.
ive set it aside and started a couple of others : Flatland and The Silmarillion.

so far the Silmarillion is totally rocking my world. and i mean totally.

there is this book store/coffee shop in Dalton where you get a free paperback your first time.

Delvyn called, i have yet to call him back.

hey Zellyn: speaking of good albums, dont forget to remember Neil Young's Harvest

wow

"... the dark night of the soul puts the sensory and the spiritual appetites to sleep, deadens them, and deprives them of the ability to find pleasure in anything.
Oh, then the spiritual soul, when you see your appetites darkened, your inclinations dry and constrained, your faculties incapacitated for any exterior exercise, do not be afflicted; think of this as grace, since God is freeing you from youself and taking from you your own activity.
God takes you by the hand and guides you in darkness, as though you were blind, along a way and to a place you know not. You would never have succeeded in reaching this place no matter how good your eyes and your feet."

Tim Carter is going away forever. ill get to see him before he goes.

i got my Salvation Army Youth Camp staff contact info book. that makes me happy. there are some good quotes and things in that bad boy.

it seems there is a sweet film and music festical in atlanta from the 22-23 of October. i think i might try to go if i can find someone to go with me. Karri? Sarah? Zellyn and Bevin? John?

the other day on the phone i called Shannon Wilson a dirty bitch. that was funny.

i suppose i made up for missing the Unwed Sailor show by remembering about Explosions In The Sky

i wonder if i should buy the LP or the CD?

now off to the Environmental Club meeting.

Team Zissou

this is my attempt to rip off someone else's design and either ask Trent to make it for me, or to ask him to refer me to a quality Silkscreen Home kit.

Pallbearing

Random Thoughts

i seem to sometimes post a hundred things on here a day, but thats ok cause i need to get some thoughts out.

its kind of like a balloon, it can only hold so much air until it explodes. same way here. thoughts, explosion, exhaustion.

to counter the effect i just write little ditties here. then i play Xbox or something.

so on tuesdays and thursdays i take a chemistry class. and thats it. on mondays i sometimes to meet with friends to hang out in various places around Ringgold Georgia. and thats it.

i spend most of my time doing Fantasy Football or just sitting around or running errands for my mom. its a pretty non existent life, atleast the way im living it is. it could be sweet, but im usually too much of a pussy to live for God. because im afraid, and untrustworthy. i dont trust him. i have no reason to not trust him. he always loves me and shows me that he loves me, no matter how good or bad i am. but thats when the fear takes over, fear that i will be left alone. he shows me his love, proves it to me, tells me things, and then i go and follow my fears after a day or so. ONE THING: i am not however going to be down or mad at myself because of this though. rather ill think about it and realize its part of human life apart from God, and realize that there is an option, a hope. i think one time i read a really sweet passage by C.S. Lewis that made me not feel like a failure. i think it was somewhere in The Problem of Pain. that was a good book. i think that if thoughts and daydreams were money, id have enough to make all my friends millionares.

reeve is coming to Georgia. i hope he stays at my house. i bet he doesnt know how much i want to talk about! im gonna suprise him with my jibberish and my inquisitiveness.

i dont know anything about Forestry, such as whether its mainly protection and preservation, or whether its sustainable logging. i dont want to destroy forests. if you happen to know anyone who studied or is in Forestry, please let me know. i need to find out what its truly about.

i suppose one other idea ive been thinking if i decide not to do Forestry is Landscape Design. that way i could always be creating where there was only barren nothingness. that would make me feel good. and i think id be good at it. thats all for now. bye. leave. leave. im going to go play The Elder Scrolls of Morrowind.

Love

it can make you face all your fears.

and when they're knocking on your heart's door, choose the one who loves you more. - Copeland

open the harbors that guard my heart.

It's flu season.

its the season of the influenza and im scared.










not really.





although i do like all the scare tactics that are the new trend in trying to get you to get shots for the flu. if i wasnt going to die as a child from the flu, i sure as hell am not going to die of it now.

plus i suppose if i died anytime soon atleast i wouldnt have to take showers and brush my teeth and get dressed and stuff anymore. that would be cool.


according to Trent's weekend update, Leah used to play flute for the Minnesota Vikings. i knew she and Daunte Culpepper were close.

Electronic transmissions from Lawrence Kansas

Appleseed Cast

they just signed with The Militia Group

Song In The Air

sometimes things happen that shouldnt.

like:

finding your lost 3 x 4 in cell phone somewhere amongst one mile of unblazed, off the trail wilderness with John Lull encouraging you as you hike along imagined paths.

such things i certainly am not worthy of.

im finding more and more that i do think that i can "work" my way towards earning God's love and forgiveness.

not the case.

i guess maybe in some sense you do "work out" your salvation- but thats not what im talking about.

anyway i bet there is something totally freeing in just simply following God, and knowing that his Love is free.

and on a note that almost makes me cry? i just found an old playlist that i made back in the day called Stateless. its boasts elliot smith, mogwai, elliot, the mercury program, hayden, sparta, unwed sailor, sloan and erlend oye.
the theme of the album was something pretty and slow. it was supposed to mention an undeserved love amidst obedience. atleast thats what i am assigning to it right now.

The Magic Of The Forests

Georgia