writing with no thought
"And when they're knocking on your heart's door, choose the one who Loves you more." - Copeland
tomorrow morning at 2 AM i leave with Jeff for Boston. it will be fun and exciting and interesting i think.
i think i am going to bring my journal and maybe if i have some time, randomly write in it.
you see, its hard for me to write freely sometimes because i know what comes out: a good bit of darkness and hidden stuff that id rather just keep locked up. but someone tells me it would be good to do this, so i shall, atleast right now at 9:06 pm im thinking id like to. who knows what the hell ill do tomorrow.
i suppose things work out for the best.
sometimes i think i dont have the gumption for success, but im not looking at the facts when i think like that.
i hear its cold in Boston..... my mental picture of Boston life: The Boondock Saints.
my left shoulder hurts because this is one of the first nights i tried to sleep on my back.
i was encouraged the other night at Jason's Haunted Village when David told me sometimes he goes out and lays down in the grass at night. im jealous of that action.
Hatebreed's album Perseverance is really good. ive been listening to it recently, and im getting pretty pumped up. thats what hardcore/metal music does to me, it pumps me up like Arnold.
right now is one of those times when i layed down to bed but nothing happened. 30 or 45 minutes later my mind is still reeling with ideas and conversations and arguements and songs and quotes and impersonations and movies and skits and people. then im thankful i have this computer and this internet connection and these fingers and a place to write down words on a white screen so that i can release and begin to quit feeling and thinking, if only for 8 hours.
i really enjoy my long blogs because i tend to think that the path of my mind really comes out. it kind of bounces around from topic to topic and sometimes things can be loosely connected, or if you are really into psychology, i suppose you could make quite a little proposal as to what im really dealing with or thinking or feeling. i like psychologists. they remind me of old people. im not really sure why, but i feel the most comfortable around old people. even if they are the bitchy mean kind of old people... i still love them. same way with psychologists. for some reason they make me feel really good inside. dont know why, its just the way it is. its certainly not cause they know the wonderful world of Whole Milk or Fried Eggs or really sweet wardrobes. maybe its because they seem to be able to venture into places in my mind where it seems sometimes i cant go, or maybe i do go but only find bits and pieces of a puzzle and the psychologists are like the Big Puzzle Solvers that put everything back into place- back into functioning place.
back into warm and happy.
back into sleepability.
back into health.
i think thats all right now.
tomorrow morning at 2 AM i leave with Jeff for Boston. it will be fun and exciting and interesting i think.
i think i am going to bring my journal and maybe if i have some time, randomly write in it.
you see, its hard for me to write freely sometimes because i know what comes out: a good bit of darkness and hidden stuff that id rather just keep locked up. but someone tells me it would be good to do this, so i shall, atleast right now at 9:06 pm im thinking id like to. who knows what the hell ill do tomorrow.
i suppose things work out for the best.
sometimes i think i dont have the gumption for success, but im not looking at the facts when i think like that.
i hear its cold in Boston..... my mental picture of Boston life: The Boondock Saints.
my left shoulder hurts because this is one of the first nights i tried to sleep on my back.
i was encouraged the other night at Jason's Haunted Village when David told me sometimes he goes out and lays down in the grass at night. im jealous of that action.
Hatebreed's album Perseverance is really good. ive been listening to it recently, and im getting pretty pumped up. thats what hardcore/metal music does to me, it pumps me up like Arnold.
right now is one of those times when i layed down to bed but nothing happened. 30 or 45 minutes later my mind is still reeling with ideas and conversations and arguements and songs and quotes and impersonations and movies and skits and people. then im thankful i have this computer and this internet connection and these fingers and a place to write down words on a white screen so that i can release and begin to quit feeling and thinking, if only for 8 hours.
i really enjoy my long blogs because i tend to think that the path of my mind really comes out. it kind of bounces around from topic to topic and sometimes things can be loosely connected, or if you are really into psychology, i suppose you could make quite a little proposal as to what im really dealing with or thinking or feeling. i like psychologists. they remind me of old people. im not really sure why, but i feel the most comfortable around old people. even if they are the bitchy mean kind of old people... i still love them. same way with psychologists. for some reason they make me feel really good inside. dont know why, its just the way it is. its certainly not cause they know the wonderful world of Whole Milk or Fried Eggs or really sweet wardrobes. maybe its because they seem to be able to venture into places in my mind where it seems sometimes i cant go, or maybe i do go but only find bits and pieces of a puzzle and the psychologists are like the Big Puzzle Solvers that put everything back into place- back into functioning place.
back into warm and happy.
back into sleepability.
back into health.
i think thats all right now.
posted by the color j at 9:04 PM
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