Random Thoughts
i seem to sometimes post a hundred things on here a day, but thats ok cause i need to get some thoughts out.
its kind of like a balloon, it can only hold so much air until it explodes. same way here. thoughts, explosion, exhaustion.
to counter the effect i just write little ditties here. then i play Xbox or something.
so on tuesdays and thursdays i take a chemistry class. and thats it. on mondays i sometimes to meet with friends to hang out in various places around Ringgold Georgia. and thats it.
i spend most of my time doing Fantasy Football or just sitting around or running errands for my mom. its a pretty non existent life, atleast the way im living it is. it could be sweet, but im usually too much of a pussy to live for God. because im afraid, and untrustworthy. i dont trust him. i have no reason to not trust him. he always loves me and shows me that he loves me, no matter how good or bad i am. but thats when the fear takes over, fear that i will be left alone. he shows me his love, proves it to me, tells me things, and then i go and follow my fears after a day or so. ONE THING: i am not however going to be down or mad at myself because of this though. rather ill think about it and realize its part of human life apart from God, and realize that there is an option, a hope. i think one time i read a really sweet passage by C.S. Lewis that made me not feel like a failure. i think it was somewhere in The Problem of Pain. that was a good book. i think that if thoughts and daydreams were money, id have enough to make all my friends millionares.
reeve is coming to Georgia. i hope he stays at my house. i bet he doesnt know how much i want to talk about! im gonna suprise him with my jibberish and my inquisitiveness.
i dont know anything about Forestry, such as whether its mainly protection and preservation, or whether its sustainable logging. i dont want to destroy forests. if you happen to know anyone who studied or is in Forestry, please let me know. i need to find out what its truly about.
i suppose one other idea ive been thinking if i decide not to do Forestry is Landscape Design. that way i could always be creating where there was only barren nothingness. that would make me feel good. and i think id be good at it. thats all for now. bye. leave. leave. im going to go play The Elder Scrolls of Morrowind.
its kind of like a balloon, it can only hold so much air until it explodes. same way here. thoughts, explosion, exhaustion.
to counter the effect i just write little ditties here. then i play Xbox or something.
so on tuesdays and thursdays i take a chemistry class. and thats it. on mondays i sometimes to meet with friends to hang out in various places around Ringgold Georgia. and thats it.
i spend most of my time doing Fantasy Football or just sitting around or running errands for my mom. its a pretty non existent life, atleast the way im living it is. it could be sweet, but im usually too much of a pussy to live for God. because im afraid, and untrustworthy. i dont trust him. i have no reason to not trust him. he always loves me and shows me that he loves me, no matter how good or bad i am. but thats when the fear takes over, fear that i will be left alone. he shows me his love, proves it to me, tells me things, and then i go and follow my fears after a day or so. ONE THING: i am not however going to be down or mad at myself because of this though. rather ill think about it and realize its part of human life apart from God, and realize that there is an option, a hope. i think one time i read a really sweet passage by C.S. Lewis that made me not feel like a failure. i think it was somewhere in The Problem of Pain. that was a good book. i think that if thoughts and daydreams were money, id have enough to make all my friends millionares.
reeve is coming to Georgia. i hope he stays at my house. i bet he doesnt know how much i want to talk about! im gonna suprise him with my jibberish and my inquisitiveness.
i dont know anything about Forestry, such as whether its mainly protection and preservation, or whether its sustainable logging. i dont want to destroy forests. if you happen to know anyone who studied or is in Forestry, please let me know. i need to find out what its truly about.
i suppose one other idea ive been thinking if i decide not to do Forestry is Landscape Design. that way i could always be creating where there was only barren nothingness. that would make me feel good. and i think id be good at it. thats all for now. bye. leave. leave. im going to go play The Elder Scrolls of Morrowind.
posted by the color j at 1:39 PM
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