i read a few entries from leah hunter's blog and i am jealous of trent and leah's life. it sounds like they do fun things and see pretty places.

i started dalton state college today and it was kind of wierd and strange but familiar at the same time. seeing some of the same people that i saw 2 years ago is different, but comforting in the sense that im not the only one who has been going to college off and on since nineteen freaking ninety nine. walking around campus is just wierd. its not quite to the point of surreal, but i almost cant explain it. one thing that is odd is that i was more stoked about my chemistry class than i was about my film class. i think i get frustrated when two things happen: someone tries to box in interpretation on art, and when someone demands a long answer from a simple thought.

im not totally sure if i can write 750 word essays on movies. i mean i like them, but i can describe why in two sentences. i guess being smart is about being long winded.

something occured to me at the Kirby's during the meeting when Angus and Claire were there: i just want to be a freaking missionary. ive known that since i became a christian. i knew that when i was in hawaii. and i didnt know why god specifically told me to go back to Dalton instead of staying on with YWAM. i think i may have a part of the picture.

i think i was really stoked about telling people about god, all the while my relationship with him sucked, and it still does. i dont know how else to say it. maybe one day when i actually have a good relationship with jesus i will be able to go to foreign countries and do things. maybe.

i can't sing it like i think it. i cant think it like i feel it. and i dont feel a thing.- Pedro The Lion

that describes my loss for words about what im thinking on the subject.